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Andy Dick Comedy

Andy Dick

Andy Dick has already developed a reputation as an eccentric TV maniac. He currently stars on ABC's "Less Than Perfect". Born in Charleston, South Carolina, Andy Dick learned early in life — as a traveling "Navy brat" — to use his sense of humor to gain friends and to keep the attention centered on him. His love for the theater quickly grew after he saw his first stage production. By the end of high school, the young theater fan was president of his drama club and on his way to Illinois Wesleyan University and Columbia College in Chicago, where he also studied with Del Close at Second City. His work in television commercials helped Andy meet fellow actor/writer Ben Stiller, who then cast him in the short film Elvis Stories. Andy's additional feature-film credits include For the Boys, Inspector Gadget, Reality Bites, Best Men, Road Trip, Looser, Zoolander and, most recently, Old School. He also appeared in a cameo role in The Cable Guy. He recently completed a starring role in the independent film The Hebrew Hammer. Andy is also currently shooting his first feature that he wrote, directed and is starring in. Other television credits include a five-year role as the nervous and accident-prone reporter, Matthew Brock, on the critically acclaimed comedy NewsRadio, as well as on the Emmy Award-winning comedy series The Ben Stiller Show. He was also a series regular on the short-lived series Go Fish and had a starring role on the series Get Smart. Andy's theater credits include The Second City and numerous plays in Chicago. He is also known for his frequent appearances on Late Show with David Letterman, as Donnie, "the page who likes to suck up," and Ben, "the guy who really likes milk." He starred in, wrote and directed his own series for MTV, The Andy Dick Show, which Rolling Stone Magazine hailed as "the funniest thing on TV." Andy has also recently starred in the MTV summer reality hit, The Assistant. He lives in Los Angeles. Andy Dick was born on December 21, 1965, in Charleston, South Carolina. "Andy Dick is one of the people who is absolutely, genuinely insane." - Sharon Osbourne (about Andy). He is very open about his metrosexuality. Son of adoptive parents Allen and Sue (both deceased). His last name at birth was Thomlinson. He grew up a Navy brat and his dad worked on a submarine. He was the 1984 Homecoming King At Joliet West High School. He attended Illinois Wesleyan University for one semester.

Andy felt "News Radio" (1995) died with Phil Hartman, but honored his contracted obligation to stay with the show for the final season. He didn't like working with Jon Lovitz during that last year. Was one of the last people to see David Strickland alive as they binge drank in Las Vegas.

He has one son by his ex-wife and two children by 'Lina.' Following their 1990 divorce, Andy Dick and his ex-wife continued to live together platonically for their son's benefit. They both entered long term relationships and eventually they, their son, her boyfriend, Andy's new girlfriend, and the two children the girlfriend had with Andy all shared the same home for many years.

Andy Dick has 3 children: Two sons; Lucas, born in 1988 and Jacob, born in 1994. He also has one daughter, Meg, born in 1997.

He considered himself very close friends with David Strickland, Phil Hartman and Chris Farley. Farley died from an accidental overdose in 1997. Hartman was murdered in 1998 and Strickland committed suicide in 1999.

Andy said on his MTV reality show The Assistant (2004), that he lived in his car while he was a struggling actor in Los Angeles.

 

Andy Dick’s Not Stalking You, He’s Just Calling A Lot

Comedian gets seriously absurd on his debut album.

Andy Dick is out looking for something special, and he’s pretty sure that it has to be 9.5 inches in length. Over the course of a two-hour phone interview that finds him driving around several L.A. neighborhoods, the comedian berates a friend for parking illegally, chats up store clerks, and fondles a
measuring tape to prove that exactly 9.5 inches is what’s needed to make him sleep well at night.

Hey, get your mind out of the gutter. The comedian is stressing precision because some mattresses are 10 inches thick, and some are only seven or eight. The vintage 1950s furniture he recently purchased demands a strict nine and a half. And Dick just can’t get the phrase out of his mind.

This guy, who hosts his own self-titled show on MTV, is certainly not above, pardon the pun, a dick joke. A veteran of sitcoms (Newsradio, Get Smart) and films (Loser, Bongwater), the comedian has recently earned himself a new persona: recording artist. He and his band of crackpots, the Bitches of the Century, have been gigging around L.A. for almost 15 years.

The group’s self-titled debut disc is dotted with quips regarding myriad bodily functions and bleak drug humor. The combination would probably have both Dick’s analyst and AA sponsor banging down the door if they didn’t know their pal’s comedy was key to dealing with a sometimes troubled existence that has included drug-related deaths and tangles with the law.

None of that matters, though - not when you’ve got both porn king Ron Jeremy and pop queen Christina Aguilera inviting you to come out and play. Dick does, and he waxes about both during a slightly disjunctive chat during which he sizes up bedding, professes his love of Marilyn Manson, and recalls meeting up with Ozzy Osbourne in a very unglamorous situation.

VH1: Could this new album be used as evidence someday?

Andy Dick: Of what? That I’m crazy?

VH1: Say you get arrested creeping outside someone’s window, like the song says...

Dick: Yeah, it could be used if some girl was trying to sue me for that. But I don’t do that. I have done a few shady things in the past. I drove by houses, I peeked over fences.

VH1: So "Stalker Song" isn’t just a joke?

Dick: It’s totally based on this relationship I had with this girl named Lina. She came and watched the show and was crying. I told her it’s supposed to be kind of funny and she was like, ‘No, it was so real.’ [He cackles] She was crying about the song! Even the guy’s name was Kevin. The only thing that’s not true is that I didn’t get the guy to suck my d*ck.

VH1: Is it therapy for you? You had to get it out so you’d stop doing it?

Dick: Yeah. When we wrote that I was in the middle of it and I had to start making fun of myself to stop doing it. I was really obsessed with this girl. It was driving me crazy. I was so upset and stressed out all the time, like I had butterflies in my stomach all the time. I was sh*tting blood.

[Dick excuses himself for three minutes to speak with the mattress retailer]

Dick: Hey, I’m back. They had to know the height of my bed because they’re custom making one for me. It’s really inexpensive, only $1,200. That’s as much as you pay at IKEA ... once you get the mattress and everything. I’m getting it from this great place called “‘50s Furniture” and most of it really is ‘50s furniture!

VH1: Complete with pee stains and everything?

Dick: No, because they redo it impeccably. It’s wood, a lot of wood.

VH1: What does your AA sponsor think of a song like "Hole Burns?"

Dick: It freaks a lot of people out. I do a whole thing in my show about my sponsor, but that guy’s not my real sponsor. I thank him for coming to the show, but then the spotlight goes on him and he’s not in his seat. Then I do some jokes and he starts heckling me. He weighs 500 pounds and he’s drunk. It’s so uncomfortable, people think it’s real. I push him off the stage, and then I punch him and he projectile vomits into my mouth. We use cream of chicken soup, not real vomit. But it’s so gross that I really dry heave.

VH1: You specialize in playing spazzy guys. Is making an album like this your way of trying to be a cooler, more rock and roll Jim Morrison type of guy?

Dick: What did you say about Morrison?

VH1: You’re normally the spazz. Is this your rock move?

Dick: No, I consider myself more of a Frank Zappa or Lou Reed kind of guy.

VH1: Still a geek, but a hard-rockin’ geek.

Dick: More like David Byrne. But I think he really rocks ...

VH1: Fame has its perks, right?

Dick: Yeah, I do things sometimes just because they’re fun. [Porn star] Ron Jeremy wants me to do this host thing where everyone’s going to be naked. That sounds like fun. Plus, they are paying me.

VH1: What is it exactly?

Dick: I don’t know, it has something to do with that Ponderosa steakhouse. It’s supposed to be one of the 50 most fun things to do in the U.S. It’s a contest for naked men and women at a nudist colony so everyone’s naked in the audience. I guess I could be naked, too ...

VH1: People seem fascinated with your amorphous sexuality. Why do you think that is?

Dick: Because I talked about it. I should never have talked about it out loud.

VH1: Back to the idea that you might be gay...

Dick: I just like to prove that everyone is [gay], just like Cobain said. [He cranks up the car radio] Hey, is this that pirate radio station?’ Oh, man, we listen to this pirate radio station, Pirate Cat Radio. It’s true pirate radio. They have hour-long bits of dead air where I think they’ve been shut down, but they must have just fallen asleep at the bong or something. They played Jello Biafra talking about Columbine and they just swear ... they were shocking me! They’re breaking every law. How do they get away with that?

VH1: Did you ever see Pump up the Volume with Christian Slater?

Dick: I was an extra in that movie! See, my career’s not that ... I had just started back then. I used to sign up to be an extra just so I could eat from the craft service table. Wait, do the pirates have to have extensive equipment to put that sh*t in the airwaves?

VH1: No, you could probably do it for $500.

Dick: Are you kidding me? Maybe we should do a little pirate station ... Do they stay in one place?

VH1: Sometimes they have it in the back of a car, or they move it around ...

Dick: In the back of a car? Like a van! I wonder if that was that weird van-like truck I saw? It looked like it came out of Men in Black V. It was totally blacked out and it had the weirdest chrome boomerang antenna.

VH1: How did you end up with a Marilyn Manson portrait of you on the cover?

Dick: He didn’t do that for the cover. He painted that and gave it to me a year ago. I asked him if I could use it for the cover because it’s the prettiest picture I ever saw.

VH1: Any idea why he gave you such abnormally large nipples?

Dick: They don’t really look like that, they’re not all inflamed. My nipples are really nice, actually. Aren’t they? [His friend replies, ‘They’re really suckable.’] You don’t know if they’re suckable! You never sucked them. I really don’t like people to suck them, they’re a little too inflamed. No, I’m kidding, they’re not inflamed!

VH1: How did you meet Manson?

Dick: I saw his videos a long time ago, and liked him as an artist. I thought they were so pretty. Then I read his autobiography. I thought he was an interesting character, because I prefer non-fiction over fiction most of the time.

[He lowers voice as he goes into “‘50s Furniture.” ‘I’m talking on the phone. I know that’s rude.’ I love it so much in here, I wish you could be here with me.’]

His life was so weird and interesting. I was just hoping that I would meet him one day and I’d befriend him. I wanted to get to know him more because I’d read the book. I actually saw some similarities between us. I finally met him at the Whiskey Bar and it turned out that he was a fan of my show. He took me outside and this is exactly what he said to me, ‘Those little black kids with you at the beginning [of the show]? I get it.’ I was like, ‘You get what? There’s nothing to really get. He turned it into something and I don’t really want to know what he turned it into. Ever since then we’ve been pretty good friends, if we see each other. I think he still parties and I really don’t. He doesn’t seem to have a problem, though. That’s the most interesting part.

VH1: The show features a lot of music parodies: Kid Christ, System for the Revolution and Such. Do guys in real bands ever get mad at you for poking fun at them?

Dick: Yeah, Christina [Aguilera] is hot and cold about Daphne Aguilera. She’ll go from, ‘Why didn’t you come to my party and dress up like me?’ And I’m like, ‘That’s not what I do. I’m doing this thing that’s a parody. It’s not you.’ It was all weird the way she said it. She wanted me to go to her birthday party and do Daphne. But it takes three hours to do the make-up and I just wanted to go to her party. Like, “Why do you want to make me your f*cking monkey?” So I said “no” and now she’s mad or whatever. She gets it, but she’s always a liiiiiitle bit rude. But I’m not going to stop. We’re doing a Daphne movie. It’s all in good fun and I’ve told her I think she’s the most talented one out there - she can’t be touched.

VH1: There’s a lot of scatological humor on the album.

Dick: What, like "Little Brown Ring?" Well, the song is about buttholes, so there’s going to be some sh*t involved.

VH1: What do you think your therapist would say about that?

Dick: They haven’t heard it. Maybe I’m afraid to show it to them. I don’t care about the Freudian stuff. I love little butt holes. Not little ... I mean, I like little brown rings.

VH1: The song "I’ll F**k Anything That Moves" makes it seem as if you’re not so discriminating.

Dick: My friend came up with that concept because that’s really not true for me. I will not f*ck anything that moves. You have to be really pretty. I’m really shallow like that. I have a lot of problems still - don’t think I don’t.

VH1: "30 Days 30 Nights" mentions Scott Weiland. Did you guys really hang out in rehab?

Dick: No, he jumped the fence. He fled the scene. I was in there when a couple of big namers made their getaways. Maybe they were running away from me. Ozzy didn’t run. He couldn’t f*ckin’ walk away. He didn’t know where he was. I was in rehab with him years ago and it doesn’t look like it really worked. I just thought he was some old man with wet brain and the shakes. Then, I saw the "o-z-z-y" tattoo and I thought, ‘Oh, and he’s an Ozzy fan on top of it?’ But it was really Ozzy. [Hey, there goes a guy in a wheelchair].

VH1: Thank you for a perfect segue.

Dick: Did you ever see that Richard Linklater movie "Waking Life?" There’s this part that always gets me when they animate this commercial with a woman in a wheelchair. It has this jingle that goes, [sings] ‘Now I’m free to see the world!’ That kills me.

VH1: That inspired you to do the "Stephen Hawking" song?

Dick: No, not at all. I just love that movie. That song came a couple years before because a friend really did tell me I drag my feet and I said it was because I was sick of walking. That ties into the whole laziness thing. Lately I’ve been thinking that I actually could retire if I wanted to. I wouldn’t go out to eat all the time. But then I thought, would Hollywood clamor to have me back? No, they wouldn’t give a sh*t.

VH1: Okay, well I can see that this thing is falling apart. Let’s do some word association. Ready? Nipple.

Dick: Ring.

VH1: Spiderman.

Dick: Timmerman.

VH1: Martha Stewart.

Dick: Pillowcases and sheets.

VH1: Crack.

Dick: Alley.

VH1: Money.

Dick: Hungry conniving manipulative masochistic ... Sorry, I shouldn’t have gone there.

VH1: Keanu Reeves.

Dick: [long pause] I’m just trying to figure out how he got on this list. That’s you trying to be funny. Next.

VH1: What about hell?

Dick: What about heaven?

VH1: Bush.

Dick: ... Full circle to your f*cking red inflamed nipples and we end it. Cut!

Andy Dick Stalks Women, Kills Frogs, Lives To Sing About It

Andy Dick & the Bitches of the Century is due August 20.

For comedians like Adam Sandler and Jimmy Fallon, writing music involves conceiving some goofy scenario and then singing in a dorky voice. Andy Dick's songwriting process is a little more personal and cathartic.

For example, "The Stalker Song,'' the first single from Dick's debut album, Andy Dick & the Bitches of the Century'', is about one of the funnyman's bad habits. "I'm not stalking you, I'm just calling a lot," Dick proclaims on the track, going on to explain, "We've got the perfect relationship in my head/ I'm talking about the voices that I hear/ That's what they said." Things only get stranger and more perverse from there.

"In real life I definitely have been known to, I guess you could call it stalking," he admitted recently from his Los Angeles home. "Driving by their house and checking up on 'em is kind of stalker-y in a way. So there are seeds of truth in 'Stalker Song.'

"Of course, I didn't kill her new boyfriend, Kevin," he added in a tone of voice that makes you wonder if he's telling the truth. "In the song it's implied that I killed him. Of course, I probably wanted to kill him. But you can play around with fantasy in a song and it's really fun. It can even be more freeing than just outright saying something."

The rest of the album is just as strange, naughty and character revealing as "Stalker Song." "I'll F---" is about Dick's history of making a play for "anything that moves," "Little Brown Ring" addresses his fascination with poop chutes, and "Garden Song" is about a frog the comedian lovingly raised in his back garden.

"It died. I think it died of old age, but I was so distraught," he said. "I thought I killed it. I thought I wasn't feeding it enough 'cause I used to go to the pet store and get bags of crickets and throw them back there and let him have a field day, but one day it was just kind of sprawled out. And I felt weird and guilty about that. And then I started writing the song and realized that the song might possibly be about my other close friends who passed away, so it's a little more serious than my other stuff."

Of course, Bitches of the Century also includes more absurd tracks, such as his favorite cut, "Stephen Hawking." Just mentioning the track sets him off giggling and triggers him to imitate a computer voice for almost five minutes.

"It's funny because people think that's Stephen Hawking's voice, but you have to know Stephen Hawking doesn't have a voice." He sniggers again and continues, "He types on a keypad and then the computer generates a voice. It's weird because our brains think, 'Oh, yeah, I recognize that voice. It's Stephen Hawking's voice.' No, that's IBM or Macintosh speaking. It's a digital voice generated by a computer."

The origin of the track is even stranger than the song itself. Dick came up with the lyrics after one of the musicians he was working with told him he dragged his feet when he walked, and he replied, "That's 'cause I'm sick of walking." From there, Dick concocted the idea of envying Hawking because he gets to scoot around in a mobilized wheelchair.

"I started going off on how jealous I was of Stephen Hawking, not for the obvious, not for the fact that he's a genius who has the whole universe figured out in his head — 'cause he's got a lot of time to think, I guess — but for the reason being that he gets pushed around in a wheelchair. And that's what the whole song is about. There's this really great line that I love that goes, 'Stephen Hawking, I envy you/ Except for the fact that you can't get up if you really wanted to/ Do you really want to?' "

Dick worked on the album with producer Kevin Augunas, who played bass on and helped engineer Sinead O'Connor's Faith and Courage. Because Augunas is well connected in the music biz, he was able to assemble a roster of guest guitarists including onetime Foo Fighter Franz Stahl, Jellyfish's Andy Sturmer and Greg Camp of Smash Mouth.

The collaborators provided riffs that "f---ing rock," Dick said. "In 'I'll F---' there's this guitar thing that always makes me dance. It's a solo, and when I hear it I just start dancing. Actually, I don't know a lot of the people Kevin brought in. When they'd come in, he'd usually kick me out and I'd have to wait outside. Then I'd just come in later and do the vocals."

The cover art for Andy Dick and the Bitches of the Century, a caricature of Dick half-naked, holding a joint, was painted by Marilyn Manson. "Marilyn is so great," Dick enthused. "He painted a beautiful watercolor for me and gave it to me as a present. He didn't do it for the album, but it was so pretty I asked him if I could use it."

As the interview drew to a close, Dick frantically scurried around the room to make sure he imparted all the wisdom he could generate. He coaxed his 4-year-old daughter to sing Eminem's "Cleaning Out My Closet," explained how the secret to raising kids is "lots of love and no sugar," and he called in his co-songwriter Andreas Jones to preview the song "Good Luck With That."

Finally, exhausted and momentarily talked out, Dick summed up his modus operandi for Bitches of the Century. "I just needed to get this stuff off my chest — kind of like a messy phlegm booger that you cough up and spit across the room."

Andy Dick's reality show ''The Assistant''

Dick's resume of work is longer than a baby's arm holding an apple...long. If it's comedy he's either been in it or fired off of it. From Zoolander to News Radio to The Andy Dick Show (featuring the cross-dressing Daphne Aguilera), Dick has done it all and played 'em all. But he's risen above (or some say below) his quirky characters and has become know for the antics in his personal life as much as his public life. He's a regular on Celebrities Uncensored and gives out his cell number to anyone who asks for it. What will Andy do next? Who will he date? What crazy character will he play next? Stay tuned as he tortures his 12 assistants and eliminates them one by one. As Andy always says, "You can't spell assistant with out a-s-s." And as we always say, you can't spell Andy Dick without D-I-C-K

Nowadays you're a nobody if you don't have your own reality show. Andy feels that he'd throw his whole career away to have his very own reality show. So he begged MTV and got his wish. Now he's gonna subject 12 innocent Hollywood wannabes to a grueling process as he searches for his next assistant. The winner gets a new car, a new wardrobe and a cool job working in Hollywood. Andy gets a revived career, 12 shrinks (the kids) to deal with his problems and the opportunity at cocktail parties to say, "Oh, you don't have your own reality show? Well, I do!" The contestants have a dream, Andy has an agenda--together they are headed for reality chaos as Andy begs, borrows and steals from other shows and discovers that "this whole elimination thing is a lot harder then I thought." Good luck, suckers!

Andy Dick stars in ''Less than Perfect''

Sara Rue stars as Claudia Casey, an enthusiastic assistant who loves her job working for GNB Network news anchor Will Butler, played by Eric Roberts.

After two years, Claude has become more adept at fending off her condescending co-workers, Kipp (Zachary Levi) and Lydia (Andrea Parker), who have been determined to get rid of her to further their own ambitions. Now, while continuing to spar with these snobs, she's being pestered in new ways: Lydia is obsessed with her upcoming wedding to on-air pundit Jeb (Patrick Warburton, new series regular), sharing all the details with everyone at the office -- especially Claude -- and Kipp needs Claude's counsel as he struggles with his new job as Jeb's assistant. Fortunately Claude still has the support of three friends at GNB: the brash and blunt Ramona (Sherri Shepherd), the loyal but idiosyncratic Owen (Andy Dick), and her blowhard next-door neighbor, Carl (Will Sasso), who's also the cafeteria manager.

In this third season we'll watch Claude evolve as a young woman, finding her place in New York City and struggling in the dating world. While happy with her job, she'll begin evaluating her own ambitions, as she strives to succeed in both her career and personal life, while refusing to compromise her values.

Less than Perfect stars Sara Rue as Claude Casey, Sherri Shepherd as Ramona Platt, Andrea Parker as Lydia Weston, Zachary Levi as Kipp Steadman, Will Sasso as Carl Monari and Patrick Warburton as Jeb Denton, with Eric Roberts as Will Butler and Andy Dick as Owen Kronsky.

Andy Dick is a big star of the craziest radio in NY

NewsRadio is about the staff of WNYX, the craziest radio station in New York City.

The show takes a look at the lives of people working to produce a daily news show. Dave Nelson, the director, takes his job seriously. In order to maintain order throughout the office, he must understand the different "signals" he receives through his boss, Jimmy James; stifle the secretary, Beth; and balance his personal relationship with writer, Lisa Miller. Adding to the mix are Matthew Brock and Joe Garelli, the street reporter and electrician (respectively), who are obsessed with conspiracy theories. It played in March 21, 1995 - July 13, 1999, on NBC Situation Comedy - 97 Episodes.

PETA loves Andy Dick


George and Laura Bush's twin daughters Barbara and Jenna are applauded in the holiday issue of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animal's "Animal Times" for being "soy sisters." PETA says the duo only drinks Starbucks soy lattes. Also winning an ovation this month from PETA is comedian Andy Dick. Dick is photographed pushing a 7-foot-tall chicken in a wheelchair as "his date" to an MTV public party event. The chicken, holding an angry sign with Colonel Sanders' photo, symbolized the crippling cruelty of poultry at the hands of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

A must see Andy Dick Show

You lusted after him as Daphne Aguilera, you cringed when you saw his assistant shaving his ass and each episode left you with that "not so fresh" feeling...but you loved every second of it. Now see MTV's foremost Dick in a brand-new season of The Andy Dick Show featuring all new short films and vignettes. They will make you giggle like a little school girl.


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